As a kid I was the youngest of all the cousins. While they were all in high school and college I was just starting first grade lol. So all the big kids grew up together and played together and went to school together. This is on both sides of the family (mom’s and dad’s).
My memories of the cousins are much different (and foggier) from their collective memories. Their storytelling when they get together is full of funny things they did together. Of course I was always too little to join in any of those adventures. But I’ve grown up hearing about them. I had my own adventures over the years, so don’t get me wrong… it just wasn’t “with the cousins” lol. My solo adventures were just as fun and full of excitement in their own way. But sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have had cousins my own age? When I was about 12 the cousins started being married and having kids of their own. So honestly I’m more in tune with their children in most cases than my own “generation” which is sorta weird… I played with their littles growing up more than I did with my actual cousins. I guess I’m that kid that fell in between two generations. Not really a baby boomer (my cousins are all tail end of the baby boomer generation) and not really a Gen X either (even tho I’m technically right at the very beginning of the Gen X). I grew up in both generations sorta kinda. Which is weird in other ways lol. I have traits of both generations.
I remember the hippy bell bottom 70’s and that’s the music I prefer (unlike most Gen X) as well as the computer boom and cell phone birth of the 80’s and 90’s. I also like the 80’s and 90’s music as well. Hmmm I sorta fall somewhere in between. Neither a true boomer nor a true Gen X. I’m right between the two generations on the things they remember and did as kids. But back to cousins…
As the youngest, I’m starting to see those older cousins I grew up admiring and learning from beginning to pass into the beyond. One cousin in particular taught classes at a university and one of his classes was how to start a web page. The legalities and what to do and not do etc. I didn’t take his class, but I did have the benefit of freely picking his brain when I started this web page. This page would not exist if he hadn’t said to me one day (while we were both enjoying watching a rodeo in Wyoming of all places!) “you should start a web page and make it about your service dog”. Well it has morphed into a hodge podge of stuff since the beginning, but I’ve had fun writing this page in my leisure. It’s my page so honestly there are no rules or boss telling me what I can and cannot write about. So I write about the things that give me joy and interest me and things I don’t want to forget!
That cousin passed away this week. I have fond memories of him. But as people say to me “ you must have such amazing memories of him” I think. Yes…. And no! He was so much older than me (almost 20 years older). …that we didn’t get to play together as kids. He has kids almost my age! I then realized… Most of my cousins are more like people would remember their aunts and uncles than their actual cousins. How weird! I may not have the collective memories of “the cousins” but I do have the “stories of the cousins” and the life lessons they taught me. I’m probably much smarter because I’ve had access to their vast knowledge. Who else can say they could call up a cousin while they were in college and ask a question about a class they were taking…. from a cousin who is a PHD/Dr. professor lol. Or a cousin who is a published author or all the other cool things my older cousins have done.
The nice thing about having all those older cousins is… I always have someone I can ask a question if I need an answer to something and one of them will probably know!
My memories and stories of cousins are all about their children. For example my cousins son Justin (I’m gonna use his name because all this cousin talk is getting confusing lol). When I was about 12 and Justin was a toddler he got hold of a wooden yard stick at grandmas house and smack me across my lap while I was sitting at the kitchen table, as hard as he could. Which let me tell you it brought tears to my eyes! But as his older cousin (see why I did there? … he was my cousins son not my actual cousin… but he was closer in age to me than his dad) I refused to cry out because he was just a baby and I didn’t want to scare him. As his “older cousin” it was my responsibility to watch him and play with him so I should have been paying better attention! Justin is now deceased, but I will never forget him smacking me with that yard stick as a baby! I can still feel the sting every time I think about it! But to me, Justin was my cousin… not his dad who was so much older than me. Even tho I knew his dad was my real cousin. Weird, right?
Which brings me to my conclusion. Cousins are awesome! But the generation gap was huge and we didn’t really connect until later in life. I wish I had those collective memories with my cousins, but at least I have the collective memories with their children. It’s weird being the in between generation. Not a baby boomer and not a gen X. Somewhere floating between the two. But wow the knowledge I have gained! I have two generations of cousins now to pull knowledge from and I’m the better for it!
Conestoga Chuck 